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When Eilian hears that I spent the afternoon with Gwilim, she gets this look on her face like she’s just short of furious.
“What is going on with him? He’s purposefully avoiding the rest of us, but then he goes off to lunch with you? I don’t understand him at all.”
I’m perched on the armrest of one of the big wingback chairs in the den and Eilian’s sprawled on her stomach on the floor in front of me. When I first came in the room, both she and Dylan had their tablets expanded and were absorbed in their own things, wrapped up in blankets and sipping at cups of hot tea. There was something cozy about them like that, but there’s nothing cozy to the mood now.
In the chair across from me Dylan’s studying my face, kind of pensive and perplexed.
“I wonder what Gwilim’s interest is in you?”
“Oh come on, Dylan. That’s obvious.”
Eilian gestures at me all pointed, in a way that I find kind of embarrassing.
“Actually,” I say, studying the cuticles on my fingernails. “I don’t think he’s too interested in me at all. I mean, he barely talked the whole time we were together.”
Eilian’s not really listening. She’s collapsing her tablet back into her ring and getting to her feet. She stands there for a second and stares all unfocused and stormy at the floor. Then suddenly she thrusts her leg out and kicks the foot of the chair closest to her.
“Why doesn’t he just come home?” she says in this little wail, and goes stomping out of the room.
Dylan’s eyes meet mine and he gives me half a smile. Even though he hides it a whole lot better than Eilian, I’d be willing to bet he’s as bothered by Gwilim’s behavior as she is.
“She’s not upset with you,” he says.
“Oh, I know. She’s mad at Gwilim, and with what I’ve seen of him so far, I’d be surprised if anyone in Daxa wasn’t.”
At training that night Dylan teaches me how to make things bigger and smaller. How to look at an object’s particle pattern and duplicate it or subtract from it evenly and in the proper directions. Mostly, we use the clay practice ball, but he also has me try it out on the sphere of light matter that can project out of my phone, and then on an apple and a little kiwi that he swiped from Uncle Wyn’s stash in the kitchen earlier.
Seeing these things expand and shrink right there on the table in front of me—and to be making it happen just with the force of my own mind—I get kind of giddy about it. And when Dylan says I’m doing real well, I can feel the pride spread all conspicuous across my face. He ruins it, though, by adding that my technique, while functional, is lacking in finesse.
My reaction to that must be pretty priceless because he actually laughs out loud, and he says, “You just need more practice. You’re still learning faster than any average Painter would do.”
He picks up the clay ball and tosses it to me.
“Take the practice ball to your room and you can work on it when you have free time. Just don’t do it where anyone can see you.”
“Isn’t this something the other kids at school already know?”
“Probably. But it’ll likely be only a another day before you’re much better at it than they are. Actually,” he stands up, stretching his arms above his head for a second and then walking around the table toward me. “We can probably start on transforming material states tomorrow. Which means you need to focus on learning more particle patterns.”
He slides down onto the arm of my chair and reaches for the handyphone ring on my finger. Every time he does this—getting all into my space so sudden—it gives me a weird sense of panic. I need pretty much all my will power not to react too strong when he takes my hand in his and does that thing where he expands my phone for me.
“I’m downloading an index of particle patterns. You’ll want to look over them, memorize them.”
I’m real aware of his body so close to mine. Of that scent of his that makes my breath come faster. He hands my phone back to me, pointing at the index that’s now showing on the screen.
“It has light matter diagrams for each pattern so you can explore it from any angle.”
I stare at my phone, at the top of the screen where it says that the index has over a million entries. Over a million different particle patterns that Dylan expects me to memorize.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Dylan just laughs.
“The more you know about what you’re seeing, the more powerful your painting will be. And the more finesse you’ll have,” he adds with a little smile. “A good Painter can tell when someone else’s painting isn’t up to scratch. I’m assuming you do want to be a good painter.”
“When you put it that way,” I make a face at him and he smiles again. “But still, you want me to memorize all of these?”
I flick my finger over the screen a couple times, scrolling down the seemingly unending list. I can’t help kind of groaning.
“Well, not all at once, of course. It’s easier than you think, though. Especially with your mind. And it really is necessary. Here, let me show you.”
He turns toward me a little more, which means we’re so close that we might as well be hugging. He wraps his fingers around my hand that’s holding the clay practice ball and this time I have to actually bite my lip when his skin touches mine.
“You know the pattern for an apple now,” he says, as calm as if being this near to me has no effect on him at all. “So to change this ball into an apple, all you have to do is look at its particles and determine what the difference is between the two and what needs to happen for the clay pattern to look like the apple pattern. Then, with your mind, you will that change to happen.”
With my particle sight I see the shift as the pattern changes, as the clay ball turns all subtle into this shining, red little apple in my hand. I obviously know it’s not magic, but it still feels magical, and in a sort of laughing surprise I look straight up into Dylan’s face. Which, it turns out, is kind of a mistake.
The way he’s smiling back down at me—like maybe he finds me a little magical—makes my heart beat as hard as a big bass drum. Sends shivers in a rush all over my body, and for just that one little second while we’re looking at each other like that, I think maybe he’s reacting to me the same way too.
Then his handyphone—on his hand that’s still wrapped around my fingers—vibrates to tell him someone’s calling, and whatever sort of moment we were having is immediately over. He lets go of me real quick, standing up and pressing the button to answer the call.
“Hi Teresa,” he says, with his back toward me now, and as fast as my excitement had rushed in, it rushes right back out again. Replaced with this achey sort of melancholy that I’m kind of surprised comes on so strong. As if hearing him say Teresa’s name like that actually hurts somehow.
Dylan turns back to me. “Sorry,” he mouths, pointing at his handyphone ring, and I know that my training is done.
Standing up, I give him an awkward little wave. Then I book it out of his room so I don’t have to hear him sounding so happy to be on the phone with her. By the time I make it back to my own room, it’s pretty obvious the melancholy’s here to stay.
My plan was to practice a little more this evening—I’ve still got that stupid apple in my hand—but I’m definitely not in the mood for painting. I set the thing on my desk and go into the bathroom to get ready for bed because I can’t see that there’s much use in my staying awake any longer.
When I’m climbing under the covers nearly half an hour later, I’m still feeling pretty sorry for myself. Sorry and lonely and homesick. And pretending real hard that I’m only sad because I miss my friends back in Flemingsburg, and not at all because I’m jealous of the way Dylan feels about Teresa.
The blanket’s already pulled way up to my chin when I remember my parents’ locket, which I stashed in the back of one of the dresser drawers my first night here. Before Dylan melted all my other belongings. I slide back out of the bed and shuffle through the dark over to the dresser, fumbling blind around in all the folded clothes in the drawer until my hand slides over the metal of the necklace’s chain.
The locket itself is still all beat and broken, and the feel of it in my hand brings up the image of Mom standing in our kitchen, passing me that picture of my dad. I see his curly hair and his playful smile, and my heart feels somehow full and empty at the same time.
Taking the locket over to the bed I climb back in again, slipping down under the covers and pressing the necklace one-handed, real tight against my chest. I didn’t realize how much of an emotional response I was going to have to the thing, but suddenly I feel on the verge of crying.
I think about what Dylan told me a long time ago, about a person’s essence moving over to another dimension when they die. It means my dad might still exist somewhere, and as I start to drift off into sleep I wonder if he ever thinks about me.
When something tickles at the back of my consciousness—something deep inside the locket—it’s more on instinct that I reach my mind out to examine it. The sighting it unleashes brings me real shocking and sudden out of sleep, although the state I’m in is not exactly what I would call waking.
There’s a hand around my throat. Crushing me down onto a hard, cold surface as if it’s going to press the air right out of me. I’m struggling against the grip of it, flailing around in a frenzy and trying to make contact with whoever it is who’s got hold of me. I can’t see anything. It’s just pitch blackness all around, but somewhere near I can hear the sounds of someone else in pain. Wheezing breaths that remind me of the death of that taker girl in the forest.
Suddenly, there’s a voice hissing right into my face, his breath full of a weird scent like chemical grass and cucumber.
“Did you really think you were so special?” the hiss is saying, and it feels like a knife thrust straight into my lungs. “Whatever gifts the universe may have supplied to you, it is still your witless brain directing them. Can you hear how your friend suffers for your foolhardiness? You should suffer too, for what you’ve done to him. The universe made a mistake with you, but it’s brought you to me now so that I can fix it, and you’ll never be so foolish again.”
He grips the top of my head with his free hand, his fingers driving hard down into my scalp, pushing my head backward.
“Don’t worry. Though this will hurt quite a lot, you won’t remember any of the pain afterward.”
There’s some thing in my mind now. Something foreign, as if my attacker’s reaching his energy inside me. Pushing his own darkness right into my brain matter.
I’m petrified, trying to pull myself from his grasp but barely able to breathe. And that horrible gasping from the other person—someone dying beside me. A friend, apparently. Their breath is scratching like razorblades at my ears, and the panic’s taking total hold of me. Pounding through my whole body and into the back of my throat, beating at my temples and threatening to overwhelm me.
Just as I’m sure I can’t struggle any longer—that I’m experiencing my own death—the whole scene dissolves. I’m sitting upright in my bed in the Lucases’ home. The lights are out, but moonlight is filling the room. There’s no one there but me.
Previous: Chapter 16
Next: Chapter 18
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